I hate your face
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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