Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
