I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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