I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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