you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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