I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
