Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
