Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
