i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
