Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
