just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
