Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
