I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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