I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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