It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
