He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
