Will you blow on my dice?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
