There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
