I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
