EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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