Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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