all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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