He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
