I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
