Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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