She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
