You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
