No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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