you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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