Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
