that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
