I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
