just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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