i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
