I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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