He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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