dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
