I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
