Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
