Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
