I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
