So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
