Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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