Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
3pm strippers are depressing
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
