nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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