You're so nebulous sometimes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
