why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just shotgunned beers for America
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
