It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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