Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
