So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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