So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
